Living in the moment

Living in the moment in Mt Tremblant

I haven’t always appreciated the present. As a matter of fact until about a year ago I spent way too much time pondering the past and worrying about the future.  Writing my first novel only made things worse. I spent a year researching my Immigrant relatives, tracing their journey from Ireland to America and recording the events, places and types of situations they would have found themselves in during this time. I tried to immerse myself into the characters, imagining I lived in 19^th century Ireland and in Massachusetts during the Civil War period. I wanted to be sure I was historically accurate so I read lots of Irish novels, researched Irish dialect and history, interviewed Irish historians, experts, and Civil War buffs.  At times I pretended I was placed in a time machine and flown back to visit and experience these historical periods. Being thrown into the past allowed me to write in the most natural way possible.  I wanted the characters from the book to “come alive” and let the reader feel as if they have stepped back in time as well. This could only be done with attention to detail and a complete focus into describing these specific events in history. In other words, I may have missed a bit of 2014-2015. Even now, I think about how I accomplished the task of writing this challenging novel. I had researched, wrote, hired an editor, re-wrote, send it back to the editor and rewrote again (that went on for a while), then I hired a PR agent to help promote the book, created a website to market the book and asked friends and strangers to read the book.  I am still constantly looking back at how all of this transpired! Living the past is easy because you never have to move anywhere.

I’m really good at living in the future as well. Not only have I always planned personal goals, places I’d like to visit and things I’d like to do, I’ve enjoyed thinking about my future and what it will look like.  One thing I never did imagine was that I’d write a historical fiction novel in my 40’s. But now that it’s complete I have a whole new set of goals and hopes and dreams for it. I waste time imagining what it will be like if my agent calls and says a publisher has picked up my book, but then worry that reviewers may not like it. I imagine myself signing books for people, promoting it across the country and speaking at engagements in universities and for large stadiums of people. I have an active imagination so I have also pictured myself being interviewed by Matt Lauer on the Today show, seeing my book on the NY Times best seller list and getting a call from Hollywood informing me that Francis Ford Coppola wants to make my book into a movie!  My mind can torture me because I am not even close to being published, and all these wonderful dreams are so far away and probably not realistic.  

Thankfully, after reading The New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, I learned about living in the moment. When I leave the past behind and don’t get caught up in the unpredictable world in the future, I can focus on today, hour by hour, minute by minute, and enjoy my life right now.  I keep reminding myself, wherever I am, whomever I am with, and whatever I am doing to stop and take in this great time and place. I cannot erase what has happened in my past, I cannot design my future, but I can enjoy the present-and all the gifts I have been granted here on earth. I have a wonderful family, a saintly husband and magnificent friends. I live in a beautiful city and have wonderful opportunities to experience the little things in life; lunch with a friend, a kiss from my daughter, a swim in the lake, a hike up a mountain and a triple chocolate cake (all by myself). I don’t know if my book will ever get published in the future, but I am proud of my achievement in writing it. I am living in the moment and it feels just fine.